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They revisit the utopian strains in Witt’s book from the other side of a great catastrophe of public life in the US to push even further the forms of radical intimacy that now, once again, feel urgent and necessary.

Even now, of course, many people might think that polyamory sounds great, but who has the time?An agile, mobile workforce for whom each romance is an exciting, fleeting adventure—for whom a different kind of relationship might feel stultifying, anodyne, like a false or inauthentic life.Forming lasting, unmovable bonds is an impediment to one’s mobility, while bohemian refusal of the same old thing serves as a fount of images to seduce workers into joining the cult of creative innovation and “liberation management”—a managerial form based on the notion that the best way to get people to work infinitely without complaint is to acknowledge that routines and bosses are terrible burdens that everyone in the company should resist through fun, “flexible,” nonmanaged contracts.She notes that “so many doctrines—marriage, the nuclear family, sexual taboos, diet, gender” had “successfully been exploded,” and remarks on the power that “the traditional story” continues to have over her sense of herself and her romantic “standing.” But how we narrate our lives, what we tell ourselves about how to live, arises from material and historical conditions such as what part of the world and which class we were born into, have moved through, and end up in.They include race, citizenship and immigration status, and sexuality and gender.There, in house after house, was a heterosexual nuclear family, both parents working, usually with multiple kids, and no one had any time to act on thoughts they might have about squandered romantic opportunities.

Most couples saw each other as help to get through the day.They ask: “Why is the alternative not an even greater plurality?Again, not only of lovers, but of life-sustaining arrangements of relations that we navigate without containment?came out in the halcyon days of early fall, when love and sex were in the air, along with other ordinarily extraordinary things like sun and anger and injustice and friends and an idea of the future.The essays below wrestle with Witt’s smart, wry, and sometimes menacing explorations of free love, non-monogamy, and the social and economic forces that shape our intimacies.Her tone is often one of weary and detached bemusement or boredom; she remarks on her failure to experience either love or truly scintillating adventure; and she finds herself still plagued by a habitual yearning for a singular lifelong commitment and kids.