Dating several guys same time

22-Oct-2016 17:36 by 9 Comments

Dating several guys same time

“Dating is always fun, but eventually it gets old when you don't take anyone seriously, or no one is taking you seriously,” Elle says.“You start to see that in the end you really are still alone.”I recently felt the pang of loneliness as I sat post-coital on the edge of my bed with “The Best” and told him that I’ve realized maybe having sex with someone who wouldn’t come visit me in the hospital (where I was briefly on New Year’s Eve day for some lady problems, fun!

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” And, that by being transparent, I’d prevent hurt feelings or building up certain dudes’ expectations.

And, since I don't have a top-notch memory, it also requires keeping a handy list in my phone.

The logic behind multi-dating isn’t rooted so much in the need to distract oneself with a bunch of dudes following a breakup (although it totally can be) as it is in what men have long called "playing the field.” And, it's certainly not a new concept.

“I feel like I would stop immediately if I met someone I really liked.” Gretchen, a former multi-dater who is now in a committed, long-term relationship, says: “Having a rotation worked for me, and I had fun.

It got kind of difficult with all of the drama, though.”Cassie*, a 30-year-old designer living in Brooklyn, got out of her rotation only after one date asked her to be monogamous with him. “But, he always brought me on amazing experiences, and it’s hard not to fall for someone when each experience is so fun.”For some women, having a rotation with the hopes of ultimately meeting a long-term partner can also be unfulfilling.

“Seeing how different men relate to you can open your eyes about what you want in a man.” She also says there’s no need to tell the person you’re with about other dates if you don't have an exclusivity agreement — which I agree with.

But, as human beings with human emotions (not to say someone in your rotation couldn’t be a complete sociopath), dating more than one person can, inevitably, get complicated.“I could only juggle three people at a time for one-month spans before it got out of hand — someone would freak out or want commitment,” she says.“I dated someone for nine months that came out of a rotation.While, it's been fun and I've learned a lot, I'm thinking that maintaining a rotation isn’t the best thing for me right now. Atypical relationship models work for many people — even if they’re temporary.Because, really, whether or not dating many-a-partner is something you think you can handle, the most vital thing is to focus on your emotional and physical well-being. As with any romantic scenario, it’s important to have regular mental check-ins with yourself to determine whether the pros outweigh the cons.“I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship,” she explains.