Dating website problems
Dating website problems
"They were just bad for me." The reason they were bad for her wasn't because the websites' algorithms were off.In fact, the algorithms "were doing exactly what they were designed to do," says Webb.
She also found some key differences between their profiles and her own.The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.You can’t watch as they smile, and that smile spreads up into their eyes and transforms their face into one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen – a thing that warms your heart and makes you realize you want to spend more time with the person. Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy.Worse still, just being "more honest" won't solve this problem, because all of our potential matches out there aren't being totally honest either.In order to meet her real matches, Webb realized, she had to find out what her match was looking for.In other words, she had to reverse-engineer the dating game.
Once she knew what she wanted in match, she started studying what he looked for in his.
To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse.
By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Ryan (RD): What year did you sign up with an online dating website and how long did you keep your account? RD: What were the majority of messages that you received from guys like? I got some commenting on my picture telling me how “hot” I was…how “good” I looked.
But in order for the algorithms to match up two people, both of them have to answer the questions on which they're based honestly.
This is the crux of the problem, says Webb: Smart algorithms getting skewed by not-quite-honest answers.
First, she realized, she'd selected terrible photos of herself to present to the world.