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"This is not necessarily a problem, but sometimes it's hard to gauge if someone is feeling experimental versus being very much past that stage." A straight-identifying friend even told me she sometimes turns her Tinder to women-seeking-women to chat with women even though she'd "probably never do anything." Enough false-positive matches like that would turn anyone off.
"We talked to a lot of people, including founders of other dating sites, and gay women we were friends with," Tessler says.
All this partner-vetting isn't to say all lesbians are serial monogamists.
A 2013 study from Liverpool Hope University that studied 126 lesbian and straight women with the average age of 27 found that lesbians had and wanted to have just as much casual sex as straight women.
One reason could be because there just is no good app for queer women.
Mostly-straight dating app Tinder had a projected 20 million active monthly users by April 2015, and gay male dating app Grindr, which on its fifth anniversary in 2014 had over 10 million user downloads, has been thriving for years now, but we have yet to see an app for lesbian and queer women really take off.
"I want to actually hear more about the person than one headline and 10 selfies." Her founder Robyn Exton did tell CNN Money back in May that the rebranded app would have more text boxes and photos so that people could see "the interesting parts of how she lives," but a recent tour through the app shows that the extra info is still pretty rarely filled out.
So, of the hundreds of dating apps that exist, why isn't there a better, queer-women-friendly dating app yet?
"Getting funding for a dating app is very, very hard.
Everyone and their brother has their own dating app, and investors often aren't interested in this space," Kay says.
Are lesbians not online dating because there's no good app, or is there no good app because lesbians don't like online dating?
Lauren Kay, co-founder of the Dating Ring, says it is a bit of a chicken or egg situation.
The only other dating app for queer women to get much press at all was Scissr, whose rating in the i Tunes store is comprised only of 1 and 2 star reviews with one user saying, "Good concept but most users are inactive and the filter options don't work," which sounds like every queer dating app I've ever encountered.