True stories of dating violence
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One year ago, on May 3, the world lost Yeardley Love, a 22-year-old University of Virginia lacrosse player whose boyfriend now faces trial for her murder; he told police he shook her so hard her head repeatedly hit the wall.And the headlines kept coming, telling the horror stories of New York swimsuit designer Sylvie Cachay, 33, strangled and left in her hotel bathroom, allegedly by her boyfriend; Samantha Miller, 34, shot in the head on Christmas near a Tennessee Army base; Courtney Delano, 19, killed in Michigan when she was six months pregnant. And that's just the tip of the iceberg: Over the course of an average year in twenty-first-century America, more than 1,400 women will be murdered by someone they've loved.
"It's like, I just got charged with DV, what's the big deal? "In a lot of cases, there are few or no consequences."But cultural complacency may be only one reason relationship violence persists. For years experts have known—and told victims—that any partner who constantly needs to know where you are and what you're doing is a dangerous partner, that such "monitoring" often leads to physical violence.
"Look at me," Duymovic said, her face next to Briggs'. And I can't stand to see this happen anymore."A moment passed. That day wasn't the first time Duymovic, then 33, had worried about her employee.
When Briggs finally turned, she saw her boss's eyes filled with tears. She'd weathered a violent relationship herself, swept into it young, as Briggs had been.
"Abusers can now be on you 24/7," says Cindy Southworth, founder of the Safety Net Project, a team of experts on digital abuse at the National Network to End Domestic Violence.
And believe it or not, in a hookup culture, some advocates worry that young women may be brushing off "bad boy" behavior.
Consider Charlie Sheen, who apparently spent two decades pushing, shoving, threatening and, on one occasion, even accidentally shooting the women in his life—much of the time while enjoying his role as TV's highest-paid actor.
("I will cut your head off, put it in a box and send it to your mom!
"He had me in a choke hold against the wall, saying, I'm going to kill you.
No one will find your body; no one cares about you,'" Briggs, now 26, recalls.
Dazed, she had agreed to Hubbard's order to go to work, fake the stomach flu and return home with him.
She was huddled over the toilet when her manager, Shea Duymovic, pushed her way into the stall and sat on the floor.
That means more than half of all women have been harmed by their partner. After all, as women, we're clearly no longer second-class citizens, so dependent on men's earnings and support that we must put up with brutal relationships simply because we have no choices.